iHave a Secret Life
by Something.Sweet93
Summary: Sam isn't exactly who everyone thinks she is. She has a huge secret. Will anyone ever find out?    Not really based on the show as much as just the characters.  Drug use, adult situations...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer!: I do not own iCarly.**

Sorry this chapter is short. I'm just getting started. I want to make sure people like it before I get too into it. So reviews are appreciated!

**Sam's POV**  
>The cool night air was refreshing after a long night. I've gotten used to walking around late at night. No one knows about this, except for people who don't even know my real name. Watching the neon signs lined up across the night sky, I realized that I was coming onto my street.<br>Slowly, I propped open my window and quietly got inside. Luckily for me, no one ever noticed that I was gone in my house. They were always too drunk to notice, or just too self-involved to care.  
>After getting inside, taking a shower, and putting on my pajamas; I went to bed, only to wake up 3 hours later.<br>The next day at school, I couldn't believe how tired I was. I've been doing this for 3 years and it's never affected me like this.  
>"Sam! Stay with me here!" Carly was in the middle of one of her stories about Spencer's art and I guess I had zoned out. Again.<br>"Sorry, Carls. I just had a long night last night."  
>"It's all right. But seriously, we should put this sculpture into a sketch. It'll be cool!"<br>"Okay. Sounds good." I still didn't have a clue what we were talking about.  
>"Hey. What are you two up to?" Freddie had walked up to us.<br>"Nothing." I mumbled and walked off.

_*Flashback*_

"Sam, I just don't understand why you won't hang out with me. We are a couple, right?" A 13 year old Freddie asked.  
>"You know that I have to go to my uncles!" I almost shouted back to him.<br>"Well maybe you should stay there. I'm done trying to make things work!"  
>"Whatever." I wasn't going to let him see me cry.<p>

_*End Flashback*_

**Freddie's POV**  
>"I can't believe she still hates you." Carly whispered.<br>"I know." I just shook my head. It's been 3 years since we've broken up. I've changed a lot. But I would never admit it to her. I love her now. I was too young back then...  
>I couldn't even imagine how my life would be right now if we didn't break up. I love her.<p>

**Sam's POV.**  
>I still remember it like it was yesterday.<p>

_*Flashback*_

After my boyfriend just broke up with me, I get home to find a note. It said, 'Went to Anthony's house. See ya when I get home."  
>This was just fucking great! My mother went to my uncles without me! Now what? I was alone.<br>Later that weekend I found myself wandering aimlessly around the streets of Seattle. Had to find someway to entertain myself, right?  
>I met so many interesting people that night, but only one who changed my life completely. I couldn't forget him if I tried.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Freddie's POV

I still remember when Sam and I broke up. I still love her, but I had a lot of problems. I was experimenting with drugs and my mom was with a guy who abused us... I couldn't tell Sam that though.  
>I remember the next day, Sam came to Carly's with a tattoo. She had a black butterfly on her hip. I started calling her 'Butterfly' for a while because of it.<br>She told everyone that it was a symbol that she was going to be free.  
>After that day, things haven't been the same between the three of us. Sam and Carly are still really close, but I got into a group of nerds. As much as I respect their brains, they're still a group of perverts. That's why we're visiting a strip club downtown tonight. Fake ID's can get you anything.<br>The nerds and I walked in and saw about 7 girls dancing on poles in their underwear. 5 girls were walking around naked and giving guys lap dances. I thought they were supposed have something on, but turns out this was different. The girls here had rooms to take guys to.  
>One girl had a special room. Her room was set up for guys to pay her for sex, she had toys, a couch, and a bed. Guys could pay her for whatever they wanted.<br>I only caught a few glimpses of her, but from what I could see, she was beautiful and extremely young. She couldn't of been over the age of 20. If that.

Sam's POV  
>"Sammy, honey... Come let me wash your hair. Please?" His voice flooded the small apartment.<br>"Sorry, Marcus. I have to get back home." I whispered back.  
>"I can't wait til you're 18." I sighed. I knew this was true. It would only be a year and a half before that time came. I couldn't believe where my life had taken me. I grabbed my jacket and walked into the night. Reaching into my pocket for a cigarette and my lighter, I quickly lit it and inhaled the sweet nicotine.<br>I can't believe that at the age of 16 I had already had more experience than that of a 40 year old.  
>I kept walking until I was finally home.<p>

Freddie's POV  
>Something about Rayne, I learned that was the girls name, intrigued me. I had to get to know her. So I did something crazy, I paid 300 dollars for an hour of sex.<br>I couldn't believe I did it, but I had to.  
>"So, sexy. What do you want to do with me?" Her sultry voice rang in my ears.<br>"I just want to talk..." I whispered.  
>"We don't do that here..." She was shocked...<br>"Well then, let's do whatever it is I paid for." I said this amazingly effortlessly as she started undressing us... I knew I would talk to her later. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: Review are appreciated. Thank you to all my readers! There is drug use in this story! Just so everyone knows! Keep that in mind. I'm hoping that I'll be able to update more frequently now. I got my laptop back from my aunt! Yay! Enjoy!  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the characters.**

**Sam's POV**

Marcus picked me up about a block from The Groovy Smoothie. It was raining and freezing, I had no other choice but to call him.

"What's wrong, baby?" He whispered as he stroked my face and pulled me close to him. I went back to his place. It wasn't like anyone would even notice my absence.

"Nothing. I was just cold and tired." I tried to inch away from him. He's given me so much, but I'm just not in the mood for his pervertedness tonight.

"Come to bed with me then?" Every time I came over it was always the same things, never any different.

I'm 16 years old, why exactly am I having sex with a 32 year old man? He's twice my age! I just couldn't take it back, he's given me so much... He buys me clothes, gives me warm food, gives me money to spend, gives me a place to stay when needed, always picks me up if I need a ride... All of these things my own mother never has done for me. When Freddie broke up with me my life just kept spiraling downhill. I've gotten into drugs, I drink, I have sex with random guys, and most of all, I illegally work at Marcus's strip club. We managed to make it seem as though I'm 18. Every night that I'm there I cake on make-up, put on a wig, and make sure no one knows it's me. There's only one way anyone could tell, and not many could even tell then, I have a tattoo of a treble clef on my right hip bone. Music is my only escape.

Last night, Freddie and his nerd group came in to The Butterfly Lounge. That's the name of our club. He bought me. The stupid boy paid for an hour of sex! I'm 300 dollars and hour! How the fuck did the boy afford that? Guess it's a mystery. He only wanted to talk though... I couldn't risk it. I just fucked him instead. I made sure he didn't see my hip. After it was all over he left. But he made sure to leave a note with his number that said, "I'll be back."

**Freddie's POV**

Last night was amazing. I may not have gotten to talk, but I still felt accomplished. And I felt a connection with beautiful girl. I can't explain it. I'm sitting at school now and it's all I can think about. Carly has been rambling on for about five minutes and I just don't have the heart to tell her that I'm not interested. Sam came walking up to us and she looked different. Like she was worried. She also looked tired, and sick...

"Sam, are you okay?" I questioned. It must of surprised her because she jumped. Then I noticed that her eyes were blood shot and her pupils dilated. She was high! I didn't say anything, I didn't want to freak anyone out or make Carly mad at Sam. Carly is basically all Sam has.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" She finally responded.

"No reason, you just look tired." Make that two girls I needed to talk to.

**Sam's POV**

When I woke up I decided it'd be a good idea to smoke some pot before I left. I figured it'd be the only way I'd make it through the day. And face Freddie. I didn't want him getting suspicious. Maybe one day I wouldn't care, but as of right now, I care a lot. I didn't want the man I love to find out that I'm a dirty whore.

After I got to school I had the normal conversations and went home. I had a text.

_From: Freddie_

_Message: Since when do you come to school high?_

_To: Freddie_

_Message: Since when do u care?_

_From: Freddie_

_Message: I care a great deal about you. I don't want to see you go this way._

_To: Freddie_

_Message: There's a lot u don't kno then._

I turned my phone off and started to wonder if I should leave Seattle.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry it's short! Reviews inspire me! Review away!

DISCLAIMER!: I don't own iCarly!

* * *

><p><strong>Freddie's POV<strong>

I wish Sam wouldn't push me away... I love her. Why doesn't she know that? She keeps spiraling downward and it's killing me. She'll never know what she means to me.

I decided to go to The Butterfly Lounge again to see Rayne. I still couldn't understand why she captivated me so much. After spending an hour there I noticed something. She had a tattoo! Exactly like Sam's. That's when I noticed. She looked exactly like Sam would if Sam dyed her hair and wore way too much make-up. This broke my heart.

I paid for her again, this time I was going to talk to her though.

"Hey, sexy." she whispered.

"Wanna talk this time?" I asked.

"I told you last time..." She started.

"I know this, butterfly. But you have to know. I can't just sit back and pretend that I don't want to talk." I had slipped and called her butterfly. I hope she notices.

**Sam's POV**

Holy shit. He knows. He just called me fucking butterfly.

"What the fuck, Freddie?" I shouted.

"You think I wouldn't notice?"

"I don't know..." I mumbled.

I took off running. I was leaving Seattle. Marcus would trap me here. I had to leave. I walked to the bus station with nothing but my singles I made. I was heading out to the one place I dreamt of. Boston, Massachusetts.


End file.
